Helping Your Loved One Cope with Cancer

After telling my wife she had cancer, one of the first things the doctor suggested was that she stop smoking. She’s tried in the past, but it hasn’t worked. How can I help her? It’s not easy to give up tobacco use. It’s all the more difficult when there is a physical dependency involved. Many [...]

Often, people need help answering difficult questions that arise about their spirituality and beliefs—some-times they may even question long-held beliefs. Many people wonder why they or their family member was diagnosed with cancer, and they speculate about whether God is punishing them, or maybe testing them. These thoughts are common, but they also can create [...]

Other than, “ The doctors will take care of it.” How do I break through his denial? “Denial” is a loaded word. Many people use the word denial, typically when referring to it as a negative way to cope. However, denial, in fact, can be a useful coping technique, serving as a defense mechanism to [...]

Relaxation techniques can reduce distress during certain treatments (such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy). Relaxation also has helped people reduce their perception of pain. One can start simply by using self-taught relaxation techniques, such as simple deep breathing techniques, which can be very effective. People with cancer may bring calm music CDs or tapes to [...]

But won’t it use up energy my spouse should use to fight the cancer? Recent research is showing positive benefits of exercise for some people with cancer. Under the supervision of a doctor, moderate exercise and activity can help patients combat fatigue and maintain muscle strength, which can be diminished by surgery and other treatments. [...]

The cancer diagnosis, upcoming surgery, and possible chemotherapy and radiation therapy all seem so overwhelming. Where do I begin? First, identify your partner’s past coping techniques. Start by looking back on how he or she has coped with difficult situations in the past. People tend to use the same coping techniques to deal with difficult, [...]

Periodic mood swings and distress are normal for patients and family after a diagnosis of cancer and during treatments. However, these normal reactions may become severe enough for a person to experience symptoms of clinical depression, anxiety disorders such as phobias or panic attacks, or other treatable psycho-logical problems. In fact, some researchers estimate that [...]

Some people go through the entire diagnosis and treatment able to maintain a generally positive out-look, managing the medical care while balancing their daily lives. Anyone, however, may experience difficulty in coping. The following situations or characteristics may increase people’s distress:   Past negative experiences with medical treatments or hospitals Recent or unresolved losses (including deaths, [...]

Is this normal, or is he going crazy on top of having cancer? Every individual’s reaction to cancer is just that— individual. People have both negative and positive reactions to adversity, including a diagnosis of cancer. These reactions may include the following: Asking himself why he got cancer Feeling more isolated and alone Feeling vulnerable [...]

Expressing both positive and negative thoughts and emotions is normal. This is as much a concern for you as it is for the person with cancer. You and your loved one can balance your emotions by focusing on the positive in addition to recognizing the unpleasant thoughts. Think of this as  positive coping and not [...]

I have heard that “positive thinking” can help cure cancer. Does this mean I should discourage my wife from thinking negatively? Comment from Jean (a 46-year-old high school teacher, diagnosed with colon cancer): Sometimes I don’t feel so positive, and the rest of my family gets upset with me when I express negative thoughts, such [...]

Many people believe that stress, depression, or personal characteristics lead to cancer development and affect its growth. There are books written on the subject, and the media seem to report on this issue frequently.  Additionally, this belief is hard to challenge. People want to believe that there is a cause for their loved one’s cancer, [...]

Our lives have been out of control since my partner was diagnosed with cancer. How can we regain some control? Loss of control is a common feeling for people with cancer. Most aspects of their lives are going to be disrupted, at least temporarily. People with cancer may feel that their own body has turned [...]