When managers give feedback, the feedback should be related to their team member’s job performance or work behaviors or habits. Feedback should never be given on nonwork-related issues or subjects, even if it is positive feedback. When managers do this, they may be crossing the line between doing their jobs and getting too personal. In our legally minded society and workplaces it is wise to keep away from unrelated positive feedback. Also, when managers give unrelated positive feedback in the course of talking about a work-related issue, the team member will tend to focus only on the unrelated positive feedback and not the issue at hand. Here are some examples of managers giving unrelated positive feedback to their team members. These examples come from actual companies that I’ve observed over the years:
Example A: "Sally, you look great. That dress looks good on you. I hope our clients can keep their minds on the business at hand and not that dress."
Example B (sent by e-mail): "Bob, you look like you have been working out. You must have dropped about twenty pounds. I can see your hamstrings and deltoids. Keep up the good work."
Example C (not done in private): "It is so nice to have you working with us, Christina. You are so different from the rest of the staff. I have noticed you read a lot on your breaks. It is so nice to have someone working for me who has a brain."
Example D (amid a discussion on plant safety procedures and in front of other staff members): "I forgot to tell you last week how well-behaved your kids were at last month’s outing. They were the only ones who didn’t seem to get into any mischief."
Example E (at a morning briefing on recent sales declines): "I would like to welcome Wong to our sales staff. I’ve heard great things about his golf game. That should help us snag some new clients."
The next two types of feedback, positive and constructive, are the only ones that managers should use at work.