It’s also important to recognize that there are different types of feedback, each of which requires a different response.
Valid Feedback. Valid constructive feedback is in some ways the most difficult type of feedback for managers to handle. Valid feedback means that the feedback is accurate and the team member is correct.
The best way to respond to valid constructive feedback is to agree. Agreeing allows the manager to accept his mistakes and faults without apologizing for them. Sample responses might be to say:
"You are right. I didn’t take the time to ask your opinion. Now I realize you could have really helped me in coming up with the best decision."
"I agree. Holding the meeting at the end of the day did not allow for full participation. Most of the staff was anxious to leave."
Invalid Feedback. In this case the team member is wrong. She is giving feedback that’s inaccurate. Perhaps she has her facts wrong, is in an angry or distressed mood, or has a perception of the situation that is not accurate. The manager can respond in two ways. If the manager feels the team member is calm and willing to listen, he can explain the facts and clear up any misunderstandings. If the team member is in a highly emotional state and the manager knows that this isn’t the best time to explain the facts, he needs to "fog" the team member.
Fogging is calm acknowledgment of the possibility that there may be some truth in the constructive feedback. When the manager fogs, he prevents the exchange from going any further. When the team member has calmed down, he can discuss the constructive criticism. Here are a couple of examples:
Invalid feedback:
"You always come late to the meetings you scheduled."
Fogging response:
"It is very important to come to meetings on time."
Invalid feedback:
"Every time you are told about an error, you get defensive."
Fogging response:
"You might be right about my tendency to get defensive. I don’t like it when I make errors."
When you fog, you do not apologize or admit guilt. You are trying to stop the emotional reaction of the team member.
Unclear Feedback. When the feedback is vague, the manager really doesn’t know what the team member intended. The feedback is not specific enough. Examples of unclear feedback are when someone on your team says:
"You are not much of a team player, are you?"
"You are not managing us like your predecessor did."
When the manager gets this vague type of constructive feedback, she needs to request specifics. The manager should respond by asking a question: "Can you give me some examples of how I have not been a team player?" or "Exactly how did my predecessor manage the department?"