The doctors want my husband to get radiation therapy for the next six weeks, five days a week. I don’t drive, and I’m afraid my husband won’t feel well enough after his treatments to drive himself. How is he going to get back and forth for his treatments? Insurance policies seldom cover the cost of [...]
How does my father get into one? Skilled nursing facilities (or SNFs) are often confused with nursing homes, both by patients and their families. SNFs provide a higher level of shorter-term care that aims at having patients return home or to a family member’s home. Nursing homes, on the other hand, provide primarily long-term, custodial [...]
Even though we’ve hired an aide to help her at home during part of the day, I’m really concerned about her safety when she’s alone. What should we do? Nancy’s comment: If you’re caring for someone who doesn’t live with you, it can be helpful to have an occupational therapist (OT) make a home visit [...]
Durable medical equipment (sometimes referred to as “DME”), such as walkers, wheelchairs, bedside com-modes, or hospital beds, can be obtained for long-term or short-term use from equipment suppliers. Medical equipment can be delivered to patients’ homes while they are still in the hospital or after they are discharged. Check first with the medical team, however, [...]
My husband just had colon surgery, and we were just told by the doctor that he no longer needs to stay in the hospital. Are we really going to be able to manage his care at home? Nancy’s comment: A visiting nurse can show the caregiver and family simple nursing skills that they can use [...]
Home care is a broad term used to describe many types of medical and/or personal care services provided in a person’s home. Multiple terms used for different types of care are often confusing, so be specific about your wants and needs when you discuss home care options. Medical home care often requires a doctor’s order [...]
Now that my wife has completed cancer treatment, how do we move forward with our lives? Advances in the early diagnosis and treatment of cancer are increasing the number of people who survive the disease. This also means that there is an increasing number of patients and families who need input about putting their cancer [...]
My partner and I are in a committed relationship, but are not married. How will this affect us? Non-married partners may face added challenges when one person is diagnosed with cancer. These challenges can be broken down into several categories: interpersonal, legal, and financial. First, define your relationship to yourself and ask your-self practical questions, [...]
Like any family, we have members who don’t get along, complicated by long-term, unresolved problems, divorces, etc. Is there any way to minimize these tensions, at least while we are dealing with this cancer? Mark’s comment: The only thing you can really do is talk honestly with all the people involved. If they’re not willing [...]
Since my spouse’s diagnosis, it seems that our family has really changed. We have each risen to the challenge, but how much change is good for our family, and how can we keep things as normal as possible? Cancer affects the entire family, not merely the patient diagnosed with the disease. All family members will [...]
I heard that my wife’s cancer may be genetically related. Do other family members have to be told? Should they be encouraged to be tested for cancer themselves? The first thing your wife needs to do is to sit down with her doctor to clarify what is meant by “genetically related.” This term can mean [...]
My husband is not sure whether he wants to tell anyone about his diagnosis. I believe that I have to let some family members and friends know what’s going on. Whom do I tell, what do I tell them, and how will they react? Some people do not tell anyone anything (sometimes not even their [...]
My friend is a single mother of two young children. Even though she is doing fine medically since her cancer diagnosis, she would like to make plans for the care of the children if something should happen to her. Is this possible? If so, what do I do to help her? Thousands of children are [...]
Kathleen McCue, the author of How to Help Children Through a Parent’s Serious Illness, describes some of the warning signs to look out for: major changes or disturbances in sleeping or eating; the appearance of new fears that won’t go away; retreating into silence; and trouble with developmental milestones (for example, a potty-trained toddler who [...]
Children of all ages often ask the “hard” questions that adults have learned not to blurt out. For example, sometimes the first question out of a younger child’s mouth after being told a parent has cancer is “Is Mommy (or Daddy) going to die?” This is the hard one. Not only can it bring up [...]
Our children haven’t said much since their father was diagnosed with cancer, but we’ve noticed that they’re trying almost too hard to help out at home, which is definitely a change. Is this normal? Children often blame themselves for problems, including a parent’s cancer diagnosis. Many children create fantasies to explain events. They might think [...]
Mark’s comment: Children have the right to see their sick grandparent or parent, dying or not. Death is part of life, and though this might be the first time the child sees it, it won’t be the last—so don’t treat it like it’s some great horror or mystery for the kid to be afraid of. [...]
I have two children. I don’t want to tell them about my wife’s diagnosis and surgery because I don’t want to upset them. I can barely handle this myself, so how can they cope with the cancer? Should I tell them about the cancer, and if so, how much? Telling your children about your wife’s [...]
Wouldn’t it be better not to tell her and avoid upsetting her? Mark’s comment: If the doctor is telling you things that he isn’t telling his patient, I feel that you should FIRE HIM. It is the doctor’s responsibility to talk honestly with his patient, and if he can’t do that, it’s time to find [...]
If you and your partner are thinking about having children after his or her treatment for cancer, talk with the oncology physician as soon as possible. Sometimes radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and certain surgeries can cause infertility for both men and women. To be successful, it is often crucial that steps are taken before cancer treatment [...]